Cry..,TLC

When you feel like your at your wits ends. You hold your head up and stay STRONG. Is the only way to be. Free. Deep breath, exhale you will be okay. After a long day you have to tell yourself it’s going to be just fine. Not promised tomorrow but you are here today.

God will never give you nothing you can’t handle. It is the truth. And the word is the truth in how you live it. So… let’s go! Let’s get IT! Drip check a bag. We all in it together. Finally, I landed the job. Can we believe dreams come true. Keep at it you got this. I feel a little sick like I have to throw up. How takes care of the mother when she’s down and out? Look in the mirror baby gurl. We in it to win it! Maybe some of you are lost and confused but for my audience I think for the most part if you can follow along it will be okay. Some might get the point others might lose. Either way at least I was able to get my feet wet and share this part of me with you.

How are you doing today? I hope great after reading this you can take a break and chill. Lol my mother Once said “Take a chill pill.” I love her. Joy Marie. Where would we be without her? Maybe lost in a forest or down a corn field. Some things I won’t kiss and tell. Let it out. /Cry It will be okay by the morning time. PRAY. Get up go to work make sure the kids got to school safe and get picked up. Take a shower tomorrow is a new day.

God Bless you all and G’night.

Stay safe in the heart of the city. Jesus is Alive and here to stay. Peace Out

 

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Entrapment past tense…

Hi everyone! Welcome back and thank you for checking in. Been a long day.

I’m here to stay please continue to follow my blog. Currently sitting in a lobby downtown Saint Paul waiting to speak with a hearing officer. Crazy how time can fly. Yet the best thing to do is keep pushing on through. There will be many trails and tribulations a being will experience in this life time. At least we have each other to lean on. I know from personal experience how lonely it can get even when you are in a room full of people. Maybe you have a little or a lot of support. Whatever it may be I believe in Jesus. Patience’s they say is a virtue and waiting to see if that comes true for me today. Lord only knows I need all the help and support I can get right now.

Marble walls green, black and teal floors sprinkled with white specks. Everyone has a job to do. What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. However it goes there seems not to be a very clear way to be. Black and white yet shades of grey horses eat hay and I’m thinking about having another baby. Only time will tell. And to whomever is reading this hopefully not my mother today as I know she would probably have fell right out of her chair is she could’ve heard my thoughts about having another baby. As a single mom it is tough. I get by day to day only by God’s grace. So back to what I’m trying to get at. The title Entrapment… And how the saying goes everyone has a job to do. A nice lady in a pink and black scrubs sits next to me. Flustered by the speeding ticket she got which she explains is impossible unless she was driving on two wheels three block away from third street stopped at 5th turning the corner at a red light on her way to work. Cops have to make their quota but get this. Story she told me about her guy and how the 12 O’s set him up at a cross walk off University Ave. close by Aldi’s grocery store. I’m up next in line I might not get to finish my story. Yet it was bullshit as she told me how they were posted up two working together trying to write tickets can up with a game plan.  One cop watching as the other stood against the building not even in the crosswalk yet. Then had the nerve to pull people over after they went past. Bogus if you ask me. Feeling rushed to tell the whole story. An alarm just sounded off. Sitting tight waiting on my name to be called next. Till next time. Hope you got the point everyone has a job to do. Right or wrong is in the eye of the beholder. Stay prayed up and God bless.

Felix Aka El Gato…

Hello World! Is anybody out there? Laughing, giggle giggle play the fiddle. Twiddle diddle, still trying to sort everything out.

One, two, three, four who is knocking at my door? It’s Jesus YES! And we take a deep breath. Yes!

I can’t believe it ya’ll please let me tell you about my day. I’m being brave now because I am slightly scared of my past. It’s like it always creeps back up and tries to get you even when you’ve moved on and let the past be in the past. Like go away now and don’t ever look back. Ha, ha, haaaa. It’s like a chapter in the Holy Bible I once heard about as a little girl. The story of  Sodom and Gomorrah. You will have to google it and look it up for yourself. But what I do remember from the scriptures is that the city was full of EVIL like it is today sad to say. However, you have to find the good in life. It’s in the little things we do each day. And it is going to be okay. At least that’s what I keep telling myself from day-to-day. I’m not getting any younger either. So, let me take a step back and really take the time to say I love each and every one of you reading this because life is short and we don’t know what tomorrow may bring us. My ears are ringing right now somebody is probably talking about me good or bad. I don’t want to have the last laugh I just want to live my life and make sure my kids are safe and be right. God is good. He’s got my back on that note let’s proceed. Because this shit is crazy and it’s about to hit the fan.

Listen to this we are all the same. You cut your skin most times out of ten you are going to bleed RED blood. Okay. Let’s get to the point here cause I’m getting tired but somebody really needs to hear about this because it ain’t right. This is open to the public so let it be said here keep it right keep it tight. Be scared to get snitched out living right we will just say we read about this one in a book one day. Sucks when you accident tell on yourself. Here it is….

This morning I woke up twice in one day. The second time I opened up my eyes I was thankful to be home sweet home the first time I woke up seemed like I was digging myself out of hell. I speed off early bird catches the worm. Sleep in late you might miss your date. So fucked up in this world that we live in. By the way this is copy rights to Keila Marie Pujols Sorensen. Steal it if you want to always be mine because it came from the heart. The truth is the truth..

I met this lady in the morning she was pregnant and had a 7 year old daughter. Beautiful hands down. She needed a ride to her first check in. As kids we used to play this game like cops and robbers but it was called La Migra you would run from IT. Like tag nobody wants to be it. Stay prayed up. Only way to be. We walked in they searched us like okay everyone needs to be safe. I get it. Appointment is at 9am we are early. Not sure what I got myself into yet. I hear the clerk behind the glass say she’s accompanied by a RYDER assuming that’s me. Whatever, I ride for mine anyways. But I know they work hard and don’t sell drugs so I’m for the cause. If it were me I would’ve wanted somebody like me to help me out too if I were in that predicament. Long story short once we entered in an Asian guy speaking spanish to us. Explaining the situation ends up snatching the womans passport! Like what the fudge cake just took place here. Come on man. Smh. Where do they even do that at???!!! In plain day light took her passport. Would you want somebody to take your PERSONAL belongings? Like really, Really, really?! I felt like we had just got robbed. And sad part about it is it wasn’t even my stuff. Luckily I was already born in America. But damn that was a little much. They said she would get it back after  immigration court 3-6 months from now. Pray for us. We all need it. Good night God bless. There has to be a better way. Keeping our fingers crossed. I felt some type a way.

Big shout out to my favorite girl cousins Alegria, Ternura, Nemesis, Neosissy, Maria, Kaysie, Austria, T-baby can’t stand you Lexii and Moriah. And everyone else I did not mention love you too. None of this couldn’t have happened without my Mother Joy.  Taught me well. xoxo oh and let me not forget my Big sister Karisa while i’m at it. Thankful for the best of the best Aunt Kim and Shelley.

Working Together…

First off, I would like to give all the praise and glory to God our father who art in heaven hollow be thy name. I know it’s been a while. Today I am thankful for God sending his only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins.

It is very important we work together to make this world a better place. Everyone can do their part a little at a time. Even, if it’s the last thing we do. And secondly, I would like to tell everyone a story about a few things that have been going on and my opinion on some of the things happening in this thing we call life. So, … First things first I miss my God Mother Staci G., I haven’t been in close contact with her lately. Some times it’s best we distance our self from people good or bad. Not saying I have from her more like she did from me. Confessing on another note I made some bad choices a while ago, leading me down a different path. Luckily, I survived and it’s still not over. But we all make mistakes and it’s the ones we can look back at and learn from. Not to do them again and if we do repent, repent, repent. Dust yourself of and try again. Which reminds me back to my story. I made a new friend. Baby girl she is beautiful check that bag and keep it moving. We all hustle or at least try just some of us are better at it then others. By hustle let me clarify  because it could mean many things. From kool aid/ lemonade stands to working two or three jobs. I am currently babysitting and doing her laundry. She did slightly pay me and in the past she has helped me with my laundry. The title to this blog is where I got it from and it steamed from. Shout out to my fam bam Vela too. She’s over here helping me organize my house. As we go through different seasons in life. For example spring cleaning. Going from winter in Minnesota to Spring we skipped this year and jumped right into summer. Getting the kids clothes packed away for the end of the year donating, throwing things away or putting them away for another day. I just got back from Michigan. Pretty state. Nice houses not exactly where I would want to live. Anyways, I guess I kinda skipped my story. Too tired its past 1 a.m. I better get my rest.

It’s a new day tomorrow full of Gods grace. Keep on shining y’all! Be safe peace out.

Taking a chance…

Hello and top of the morning to ya’. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to re-group myself and take the time to blog. Welcome again to my friends and family and hello to the newcomer.

I would like to take this opportunity to share with everyone a very special note I found from a dear friend of mine. A little bit about her background, I couldn’t tell you much as she passed by my life in flash. Sharing a little about her story before I copy and post her note.

Her name was LaLa. I wish I could remember her real government name in order to reach back out to her. However, I will proceed with the story as I can recall it. It goes like this…

A few years ago after I lost the father of my three children I was in close knit with his cousin. Not to throw every one’s business out there but i’mma tell it how it was. As part of my story to share. I received a phone call from a young lady one early morning in regards to her fleeing a domestic relationship. A scary situation I have dealt with also in my past. As the voice across the line came through I told her to follow her heart and break free from a vicious cycle. Be strong take a chance. Not aware of the promises that were being told to her bringing the young lady to Minnesota. Better opportunities and safe healing, as I would have guessed it. Because at the end of the day who wants to be physically hurt? Whooped on or mistreated in any kind of way? So, a few days go past and all the sudden I’m in the middle of (“Cousin” can you let this young lady stay with you for a few days?”) kind of situation. Now, a little about myself, I have a big heart kind and loving. I’m real and one of a kind. A Minnesota thorough breed as I have been given the title on more than one occasion.  Not to toot my own horn (smiling) . Anyways, let me continue on before baby wakes up. Let me add I have a full schedule ahead of me with many things to do. The real struggle of a single mother no joke. Never the less and back to my story making it a long short story. Lala comes from IN to MN. She resides with me a few says dipping off with my guy “cousin” from time to time. However, i’m slightly in the dark about the total logistics of where this relationship between them was going in the first place. Because here we go with the “cheating” as he has an entire other relationship going at the same time now trying to juggle all the women. Lala, was a sweet young lady. Helped with my children and household chores. We laughed and cried with each other relating on the familiar pain we shared. At the end of the stay I gave her some resources of domestic abuse shelters in the area, as I already had a house full. And if anyone out there is need please call the domestic / sexual abuse hotline at 1.800.799.7233. Now fast forwarding to a few years later as I was looking in my walk-in closet for an envelope to write F*ck face that has decided to turn his self in and execute his time. I don’t even have time for that whole ordeal. But I will come back and blog about that dramatic event that took place just for entertainment later. Here it is the letter I found, titled Give it A Go<3 Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life let it. Nobody said it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. – Love LaLa.

Have a good day and rest of your weekend. Love, hugs and kisses to all my friends and family.

In the heart of the city….

Hola and hello everyone! Ok I have to make this one quick. As I have been volunteered by Mr. Vinetti, to help in the nursey at 10:15am. Giggle giggle.

God works in mysterious ways. Yes that is true and he also has a deep sense of humor. I really wanted the title today to be Saints and Sinners. I walk a fine line like a pretty ballerina or what do you call those tight line rope walkers at the circus. Whatever it may be that is me. Because tonight as I stepped out after a long few days in the street lights of Rice street in Saint Paul. I wore a cute white zipper top, jeans and caramel completed sparkly high heel wedge. Praise the Lord I made it home in one piece as I went in peace to the streets. So, as I ran around with the Gangster Disciples last night and proud to say I do not indulge myself with liquor at this time in my life. I prayed as the aftermath of the gunshots poured out over the city. I prayed for mercy. I prayed with the former super star basketball player that is now sad to say it a heroine addict. I was a blessing to the ones in need. I prayed. I prayed. I prayed.

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Amen.

And a huge hug to all my friends and family. No matter what it is you are going through Jesus loves you.

Last but not least an apology to my mother Joy. Because she is not just great she is amazing! I love you mom! Xoxo I sorry. I can be very dramatic sometimes. I wonder who I get it from? Hmm… Smiles hugs and kisses.

Exodus 20:12 (NIV)

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

All great things must come to an end..

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Saint Paul,  Minnesota. Today things in my life have come to a full circle. Closure, peace and new beginnings.

Letting go of what I thought made me happy at the time. Knowing my self worth is so much more then what I have been allowing in my life. Not settling for less. My God above all other Gods is a good, powerful and merciful God. As a Christian I make better choices in my life. Standing strong and setting boundaries. I made the impossible happen and a miracle in my life broke through. Finally, I can take a deep breath of relief. Praying I haven’t expoused my children to sin deep enough that it will be hard for them to make the right choice. Hoping that they learn from my mistakes and don’t follow in my footsteps. Making a better way so I set an example today. I walk with my head held high. A seed was planted in my heart and I have blossomed into a beautiful flower. My eyes have opened up. I can see clearly now the pain is gone. He gave me a way out.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

13 No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

… I told Mr. Suave to put a ring on it. No sex. He didn’t even make it through the night or day he packed all of his belongings and left. GOOD. This morning I woke up and let him in the house still explaining that we could not have sex. I went on about my day as did he. While still trying to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I prayed. I became frustrated I couldn’t find my ID I needed to file my renters rebate. Finally I found it. I forgot some spray in Ricos truck for my hair I met up with him off Rice street. He couldn’t find it. I got out of my car and was looking in his truck and why did I find his pathetic phone. I read the text messages. You don’t even want to know. I was pissed. Yet God gave me a way out because I had already been contemplating how to leave him. There was my way out. And goodbye. When one door closes another one will open up. Life goes on. Thank you.